Modern Booty Call Ethics and Mores

I’m making beignets for Mardi Gras and pondering booty calls.

As a proper matron and mother of three, it’s been years since I’ve personally received a booty call, but I still care about booty call practices and protocol because of my single friends. My dating life happened in those last halcyon days before smart phones. Back then, a booty call was just that: a phone call. Or maybe a text, laboriously pecked out by pressing the numbers on your pink Moto Razr. Match.com was barely in its infancy, but MySpace was hopping. Tinder was but a twinkle in Sean Rad’s eye.

So much has changed since iPhones were introduced in 2007, but I wonder: do the same time-honored dating truths still apply, as they did when I was single? Or have the confluence of technology and gender equality and #metoo blurred the lines beyond any dating practices I would recognize?

And what sort of a dating landscape can my girls expect? Will the wisdom I drunkenly gleaned and the lessons I honestly learned still apply to their era? Maybe it will be more necessary than ever.

I think it will, because even as technology changes, human nature stays the same.

I was always old fashioned for my time. A Charlotte in a dating landscape dominated by Samanthas and Mirandas. Even now I’m a Betty Draper in a Betty Friedan world, but I still wonder, can a booty call be empowering, if the woman calls the shots? It is a booty call, by its very definition, just another example of the patriarchy using women’s bodies, a Sir Mix-A-Lot style “hit it and quit it,” if you will. But does that even matter, if it’s consensual and both parties are agreeing to it and having fun?

And what is the etiquette of the booty call? I’m asking because I genuinely don’t know. My inclination would be to let the man initiate the booty call, but maybe that philosophy is antiquated. I always made the boy call me. I always expected the boy to pay for dinner. So I suppose I’d rely on traditional gender roles for booty calls as well. Does the initiator always host? Can there be equality in the relationship if the same person is always imitating and if hosting duties aren’t shared? Do we as a culture really need booty call equality, if it’s just for fun? Or is booty call equality an important final frontier?

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